St. Patricks Day 2018 Irish Jokes, Riddles, Irish Stories

St. Patricks Day 2018 Irish Jokes, Riddles, Irish Stories: Happy St. Patrick’s Day 2018. We are very close to Irish Public Holiday which called St. Patrick’s Day held on 17th March 2018. As of this day we are coming with the huge collection of St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Irish Jokes, Riddles, Irish Stories. If you are looking for St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Jokes or St. Patty’s Day 2018 Jokes or Irish Jokes on St. Paddy’s Day 2018 you are at right place. By sending these jokes to your friends on Saint Patrick’s Day 2018 prove your good sense of humor on this feast Day of the year. This collection on St. Patrick’s Day 2018 will definitely blow your mind and entertain you. Saint Patrick’s Day is the day which is celebrated by many people over the world even they are not Irish. As we talk that some common traditions include wearing green clothing, hats, shamrock, dancing and having fun on St. Patrick’s Day 2018.
We all know that how to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day 2018 or St. Paddy’s Day 2018 or St. Patty’s Day 2018 but beside that we can include lots of fun jokes, St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Jokes and Irish Riddles to our St. Patrick’s Day celebration list. We also hear a lot about leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day 2018. A leprechaun is a one type of Irish Fairy and have beard and wear green cloth with black hat. They are also known as mischievous. Check out our funny collection on St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Jokes, Riddles, Irish Stories, leprechauns.

St. Paddy’s Day Irish Jokes 2018

• Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died.The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife.
  The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.” 
  The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!” The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”
• One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
  “Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory.”
  Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned.”
  Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh, don’t tell me that! Did he at least go quickly?”
  Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out three times to pee!”
• An Irishman was flustered about not being able to find a parking space.
  “Lord,” he prayed, “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday.”
  Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot.
  Without hesitation, the man said, “Never mind, I found one.”

St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Little Irish Jokes​

• Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
  Paddy says, “Are you on foot or in the car?”
  Billy says, “In the car.”
  Paddy says, “That’s the quickest way.”
• Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy’s got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
  Paddy says to Mick, “If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.”
• Finnegan’s wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning him.
  “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant.
  “She spoke without interruption for about 40 years,” said Finnegan.

St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Drinking Jokes​​​​​

• A young Irish boy said to his grandfather, “Make a frog noise for me, Grandad.”
  “No, son, I don’t feel like making a frog noise right now.”
  “Oh please, Grandad, make a frog noise.”
  “No, I don’t want to.”
  “Oh please, Grandad, make a frog noise.”
  “Why is it so important to you that I make a frog noise?”
  “Mum says when you croak we can have this house.”
• An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
  He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
  “Just water,” says the priest.
  The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
  The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”
• “I had an accident opening a can of alphabet spaghetti this morning,” said Murphy.
  “Were you injured?” enquired Seamus.
  “No, but it could have spelled disaster,” concluded Murphy.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Saying Jokes

• O’Rourke, the barber, was hearing complaints from his customer about the price of his services. “I tell you O’Rourke, you Dublin barbers have a stranglehold on the citizens. I was in New York just last month, and you charge me double what they charge there.”
  “That may be true, Sir,” said the barber, “but think of the airfare.”
• wo Irishmen looking for work see a sign that reads TREE FELLERS WANTED. “Oh, now, look at that,” said Paddy. “What a pity there’s only de two of us!”
• List Did you hear about the Irish kamikaze pilot?
  He flew 99 missions . . .

St. Patty’s Day 2018 Irish Stories

• Mrs Pete Monaghan came into the newspaper office to pay for her husband’s death notice. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar per word and he remembered Pete and wasn’t it too bad about him passing away.
  She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. So she wrote out the obituary, “Pete died.” The newsman took a look and said he thought old Pete deserved more and he’d give her three more words at no charge.
  Mrs Pete Monaghan thanked him and changed it to: “Pete died. Boat for sale”.
• A minute later, Seamus arrives at the cliff. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar “peeper bag”.
  He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. “Hi, Paddy – watch this”, Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot’s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT, as he joins Gerry’s remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, “Bejasus, that parrotshootin’ is also too dangerous for me.”
• A few minutes later, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar paper bag. However, instead of a parrot or a budgie, he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the same result as the other two men. Once more Paddy shakes his head – “Acchh, first there was Gerry wit’ his budgie jumping, then Seamus parrotshootin’ and now this hen gliding…”

St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Irish Riddles

• Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
  (Real rocks are too heavy!)
• Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
  (Because you shouldn't press your luck!)
• What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?(A sham-rock!)
• What did the leprechaun do for a living?(He was a short-order cook!)
• How can you tell if a leprechaun is having a good time?
  (He is Dublin over with laughter!)

St. Patrick’s Day 2018 Jokes Clean

• A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, “What’s your name and address?”
  “I’m Paddy O’Day, of no fixed address.”
  The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question. “I’m Seamus O’Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy.”
• “Hello, Pan American Airlines?” said Big Mick Lonegan. “Could ye be tellin’ me how long it takes to fly from Boston to Dublin?” The voice on the telephone said “I’ll see sir, just a minute.” “Ahh, ’tis fast. Thank ye,” Mick said as he hung up.
• Paddy was in New York, patiently watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, “Okay pedestrians”. Then he’d allow the traffic to pass.
  He’d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted “Pedestrians” for the 10th time, Paddy called over to him, “Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?”

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